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Hey, I'm Patrick. I'm a queer cis-male from Chicago. I like films (especially horror), music, wrestling and video games. You know, a very interesting person.

I'm going to be on an episode of Genre Grinder about 1981 slasher movies at the end of July, so expect a lot of posts about Canadian tax shelter flicks in the meantime.

Real talk some of you aren't ready to hear 

Hammer horror films are always fascinating because they ALWAYS frame the conflict as a battle between Judeo-Christian good and Pagan evil, even though they are totally enamored with graphic violence and big titties. It's conservative repression in the form of a monster movie.

One Universal horror series that is mostly forgotten is the Inner Sanctum franchise, a series of six unconnected films all starring Lon Chaney Jr. embroiled in some kind of supernatural or macabre mystery. The only running themes are a neurotic internal monologue and misogyny.

Forgotten for a reason, I should say.

Can't bring myself to order food during a thunderstorm, knowing the delivery driver will have to walk at least a minute in the rain, so mac n cheese it is.

I'm watching the silent Lon Chaney Phantom of the Opera and realizing that LucasArts adventure game scores are just silent movie scores.

"Truly I am young," I say as I pour milk over my bowl of cicada shells, "I'm just so baby, true zoomer shit."

Snoop Dogg has recorded a cover of "Red Right Hand" and it sounds just like a Lil B song.

The moral of every episode of Worth It is "You should spend 46 dollars on dinner."

I could watch Keith Lee and Dominik Dijakovic fight forever and I think maybe I'm gonna get to.

If people spent less time breaking into abandoned Tower Records to drink forties and break light tubes across each other's back and more time listening to Tower of Power this world would be a whole lot more bumpin'.

If people spent less time hanging out in Mos Eisley and more time listening to The Isley Brothers this world would be a whole lot smoother.

If less people perpetuated the wage gap and more people listened to The Gap Band this world would be a whole lot funkier.

Horror documentary: Stephen King, the twisted mind behind our collective nightmares...the genius who sees into other worlds...

Stephen King novel: "Jimminy Christ McChristmas, Gordie!" Ned exclaimed, "I just about shit java juice all over my jockey no-nos!"

Important update: Hulu is showing a new Buick commercial that says "Buick" only six times instead of seven thousand. Our national nightmare is over.

Patrick R boosted

Welcome to Star Trek, here's your robe. You want to wear something else? You're funny, here's a brown robe.

Angst is a disturbing German serial killer movie with some of the wildest camerawork I've ever seen. Less a horror movie than a portrait of addiction, makes being a murderer seem very unappealing, which is weirdly rare in films.

The movie is over and I feel like the point is that burlesque is dumb and singing is better?

Update: The brief nudity is Cam Gigandet's butt. It's pretty good.

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