the phrase "sweet Jesus" implies the existence of a sour Jesus, a bitter Jesus, a salty Jesus, and an umami Jesus
if there's any justice in the world, Morgan's reply to this will join it soon
Behold @derek, the great Jesus Licker.
@derek shut da hell up!!
@breakfastgolem Galileo was persecuted in his time too
@derek galilayoff my ass >:|
@moviemorgz @breakfastgolem bravo, bravissimo, che bella
@moviemorgz
I want to read about salty jesus.
@breakfastgolem @derek
@moviemorgz I am keeping a close eye on this for when it cracks 100
@derek do i get a prize
@moviemorgz @derek you get a CertifiedLaserdicBanger
@moviemorgz @derek I believe when it hits 100 derek blesses it with the title of "Certified Laserdisc Banger"
@moviemorgz that's a nice #CertifiedLaserdiscBanger you got there Morgan
@derek i would like to thank the academy…
@jacethechicken sometimes you just gotta follow the road your mind had laid out for you
@derek you know that christmas carol that goes “holy infant so tender & mild?” always made me picture the baby jesus as a chicken wing
@moviemorgz I was gonna so "that's weird as shit" but come to think of it, what with "the body of Christ" and all, maybe it's not so weird that they keep referring to Jesus in the same way one would a McNugget
@derek @moviemorgz I sure as shit wouldn't have lapsed from Catholicism were our lord Jesus's body turned into a 20 piece McNuggets box
@PalmeDork @moviemorgz easily sharable among your apostles
@derek @PalmeDork @moviemorgz gives the last supper a while new meaning
@PalmeDork there will not be a post better than this one for weeks
@neoncoughh mcnuggets bringing out the best in me, once again 😌
@moviemorgz @derek I prefer a spicy, bold son of god, tbh.
@moviemorgz @rgegriff I like my Lord earthen and smoky
@derek @moviemorgz @rgegriff *swirls my glass of saviour while holding it under my nose* i'm detecting floral notes in this son of god
@balrogboogie @derek @rgegriff imagine when we all try to enter heaven one day & st. peter pulls out all the receipts*
* - opens all our mastodon accounts & reads our posts
@moviemorgz @derek @rgegriff gonna get that dril "face god and walk backwards into hell" post tattooed on myself so st peter knows exactly what's up
@balrogboogie @derek @rgegriff
me: i thought it was FUNNY!!!
st. peter: i’m sure satan will find it funny as well
@moviemorgz @balrogboogie @rgegriff tried to facts-and-logic my way into heaven and all I got was a suplex from St. Peter and a one-way ticket to hell
@derek @balrogboogie @rgegriff i’m cackling at the mental image of st. peter giving you a suplex
“what’s this — IT’S ST. JOHN COMING IN WITH A STEEL CHAIR”
@moviemorgz @derek @rgegriff who knew derek's heel turn would be in front of the pearly gates
@balrogboogie @moviemorgz @rgegriff it could only have ever happened this way
@moviemorgz @balrogboogie @rgegriff BAH GAWD THAT'S GOD'S MUSIC
@moviemorgz @balrogboogie @rgegriff this is a hall of fame hellthread, good job everyone
@moviemorgz @balrogboogie @rgegriff the rare literal hellthread
@derek @moviemorgz @balrogboogie @rgegriff did you say... hellthread?!?
@moviemorgz @balrogboogie @derek smiling, wiping tears from his eyes, hand resting on the trapdoor to hell lever You were horrible people, but some damn fine posters.
@moviemorgz @derek My go-to is the mango habinero body of christ; but every once in a while, I find myself just really really craving garlic parmesan jesus.
Lewd, probably blasphemy
@derek I feel like umami would be eating Jesus' ass 🤔
Opening Will Ruin Your Day
@derek Ooo Mommy Jesus
@derek I prefer my Jesus bland, as nature intended. 
@derek i have seen umami jesus once actually
@derek *giggle* I think "Umami Jesus" would be an excellent band name.
food
@derek sweet and salty is always the way to go
@derek “sweet and spicy Jesus” sounds like a southern US exclamation
@derek
Umami Jesus, where are you from?
Korea or Canada or maybe Taiwan?
@derek deserved it!!
@derek sweet Jesus is the Easter Bunny
@derek "Um, am i Jesus?" is how it all began
@derek the church introducing some exciting new Eucharist spices
@derek salty Jesus is when you run out of wafers so you have to use saltines for communion
we did it kids, we've got a #CertifiedLaserdiscBanger on our hands