inspired by Thomas's newfound disregard of nuance, I will henceforth only review movies using traffic light colours


Mad Max: Fury Road 🟢
Apple in the River 🟡
Trancers 🟢
Antonio Gaudí 🟡
Tokyo Drifter 🟢

critic/filmmaker Dan Sallitt has a baroque six-colour scale he uses instead of ratings place movies in an all-time context

the colors are red (pantheon), orange (near-masterpiece), yellow (Hall of Very Good), blue (good), purple (lowest rung of recommendability or interest), and everything not worth ranking is grey

this is needlessly complicated but very interesting

also pick better colours bro, my colourblind ass can't differentiate a bunch of this

for all it's flaws this is better than Mike D'Angelo's 100-point scale

if you grade art on a 100-point scale you are diseased

M. Night is back on his bullshit and it rocks

There's some wild wild direction and offbeat compositions in this one, it is positively fevered, and it also has probably the single most fucked-up image I've seen in a Shayamalan joint, just a Hall of Fame disturbing image

@derek people should just watch good movies, not sure why some people find this so difficult

@derek How does he score it? What's the difference between an 89 and a 90???

@derek @Thomas I rate my movies based on various types of cutlery. I will not be elaborating.

@Thomas @derek iirc he starts at 100 and removes points for specific reasons, I was going to fact check this but then I remembered how annoyed I get by his pedantic

@Thomas @derek i have a friend who has very complicated metrics for their own personal 100 point scale

@douglasfur @Thomas I see this on Letterboxd, like "Acting: 20/25, Aesthetics: 17/25 [...]" and I stroke out every time

@alex @derek @douglasfur I think even rating parts of a movie separate from others because film is collaborative. How can you rate acting separate from direction? How can you rate cinematography separate from set design or even wardrobe?

@Thomas @derek @douglasfur simple.

you just listen to the score and assign that a number
you then listen to the movie with the screen off and assign that a number
you then watch the movie with no sound and put a thumb up to the screen whenever an actor is present and assign that a score
then you watch the movie through a peephole and only look at the actors' faces and assign th

@derek @douglasfur @Thomas i love that they think acting and aesthetics make up for a total of 50% of a movies worth. Like you can determine that a movies aesthetic can only ever be worth up to 25%, but something like real world impact isn't even counted

@derek my guy is ranking his movies like the MTG card rarity system

@kiosk long story short I thought it whipped, about on par with Branded to Kill, I kind of wish the whole thing was as abstracted as the last 30m or so

@derek I really liked it too, it makes some weird decisions but that's part of the charm


@derek is it "man dies of tetanus in fast-forward" or "woman with calcium deficiency breaks her limbs repeatedly"

disturbing; spoilers for Old 

@balrogboogie the latter lmao

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