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I could write an epic poem that would fill the hearts and level the knees of every person on the planet and I would *still* be all like "god dammit I should have learned to draw or play guitar, that shit is cool"

OLD DEREK
Here it is, my magnum opus, my life's work as a writer...

RANDO
Here's a cute doodle of a pig who is an astronaut.

CUT TO
Old Derek hulking out and tearing his phone book-ass manuscript about the sea or whatever with his bare hands

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@derek me, knitting a cowl, baking incredible bread and cookies, drawing goofy shit to make my friends happy, writing a comedy newsletter that several people pay me actual money for: god I wish I was creative

@dualhammers I suppose this is true, but then I gotta learn how to draw a spacesuit

@derek Just remember you can always use a multi-disciplinary approach. Tracing is valid :)

@derek Me: *Actually completes
a task*
My brain: Why the fuck aren't you learning another language yet.

@gekko @derek [carving linoleum for 4 hours] can you imagine if I could SING

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LASERDISC 💿 PARTY

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