Derek @derek@laserdisc.party

white winter solstice
the tinkle of bells
in the martian sky

“If I puke on your stuff it’s mine now,” I mutter, wiping vomit from the corner of my mouth, standing over my neighbor’s Trans Am, and making unrelenting, bleary, watery eye-contact.

new day new dew #weouthere

F, Marry, Abraham

I miss Weekly World News

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i1qQOGCyRbY

@tessaracked found this video on Youtube and it is one of the best things on there.

@derek

LASERDISC.PARTY NEVER DIE

Nothing makes me want to eat peanuts more than the grim reminder of my finite mortality, the curse of humanity which is the knowledge and genuine understanding of the concept of death. When I sink into ennui, I want nothing more than some honey-roasted Planters peanuts

I will always do jokes in the alt text. They're like little easter eggs for the real fans. A special treat.

The yellow M&M stands over the coffin. Mr. Peanut’s son angrily approaches, whispering despite his rage, “you don’t belong here, you need to leave”

“I just needed to make sure he was dead.”

Mr. Peanut caught a young cashew railing his centenarian wife, killed them both with his sword cane and then took his own life. His funeral will be sparsely attended.