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Please tell me your favorite terrible groaner of a joke

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

in his sleevies

Q. Why don't lawyers like to sunbathe on the beach? 

@checkervest

A. Because cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.

Q. Why don't lawyers like to sunbathe on the beach? 

@xenophora 😂

Q. Why don't lawyers like to sunbathe on the beach? 

@xenophora @checkervest ...What..what have you started

Q. Why don't lawyers like to sunbathe on the beach? 

@sullybiker @checkervest

Yeah yeah it's *my* fault! 🙄

Confession 

@sullybiker @checkervest

I make enough money to overtip a Doordash person at least 4 times a year, though.

Confession 

@xenophora @checkervest Have you sued any of them to get it back?

Confession 

@sullybiker @checkervest

Thought about it but it would take valuable time away from making the cat wear sports-related outfits for Instagram.

Confession 

@xenophora @sullybiker working in the law field is absolutely the best way to get a huge supply of lawyer jokes

Why don't sharks eat lawyers 

@xenophora @checkervest Professional courtesy

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

@checkervest Yesssssss

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

@sullybiker I will cry laughing when I tell someone this joke in person, it just hits me hard

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

@checkervest What do you call a person that designs dog houses?

A barkitect

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

@sullybiker yes thank you this is perfect

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

@checkervest oh my gosh, my kids have joke books FULL of jokes like this lol, my oldest just told this exact joke the other day in fact

I'll start. Where does the general keep his armies? 

@balrogboogie yesssss it is my favorite kind of joke, this one especially just kills me

I had a joke book like this when I was a kid and my favorite one was "Why do geese fly south?" "It sure beats walking!" and I'm absolutely sure everyone around me was absolutely sick of hearing it haha

A man walks into a bar 

@checkervest and says "fuck, ow, that hurt!"

A man walks into a bar 

@derek hell yeah this is exactly what I'm talking about

what's brown and sticky? 

@hoppet absolutely classic!

How much do they charge a pirate for earrings 

@checkervest a buccaneer

How much do they charge a pirate for earrings 

@douglasfur oh hell yes, I love it

what do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft 

@checkervest a flat minor

what do you get when you drop a piano down a mineshaft 

content of this reply is a CN that gives this joke a very dark brutal spin 

@douglasfur @checkervest cn: child labor, slavery implied, death

content of this reply is a CN that gives this joke a very dark brutal spin 

@trisschen @douglasfur hi! according to the strictures of the joke, “minor” as spelled in this case refers to the musical term, as in the minor scale of music, in this case the key of A flat. The joke rests on the fact that the musical phrase “a-flat minor” also sounds like the phrase “a flat miner,” in this case referring to an adult person gainfully employed in extracting minerals from earth

content of this reply is a CN that gives this joke a very dark brutal spin 

@trisschen @douglasfur so yes, there is death implied in the telling of this joke, but child slavery and endangerment of children is not stated directly or implied. “Minor” in this joke refers strictly to the musical key, not to a child under the age of legal responsibility, and the humor is from the fact that it sounds like “miner,” an adult working to retrieve minerals from under the ground

re: very dark brutal spin 

@checkervest @douglasfur Yeah I got the original joke, but thanks for explaining it in case someone didn't (like myself back when I first heard it) :)

Just can't help but think about that extra dark bit that can be interpreted into it whenever I’m hearing that joke 😅

re: very dark brutal spin 

@trisschen @checkervest fwiw its worth i heard this joke first as a child and I had no idea what a minor chord was, so i thought it was just very deadpan and gruesome

re: very dark brutal spin 

@douglasfur @checkervest basically same, except I’m just not having a clue about music combined with the musical minor/major being called completely different (Moll/Dur) in german 😅

@checkervest why do all the ships in norway have bar codes on them?

what's long and hard and full of seamen 

what's brown and sticky? 

@MmeLibertine this is perfect, thank you

what's dirty, smelly and comes out of cowes backwards? 

@MmeLibertine @checkervest

the Isle of Wight ferry

what's dirty, smelly and comes out of cowes backwards? 

@petrichor @MmeLibertine @checkervest Been on it. Can confirm.

why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? 

@checkervest he had no body to go with!

part 2: why didn’t the skeleton just ask someone to go? 

@checkervest he didn’t have the guts!

part 2: why didn’t the skeleton just ask someone to go? 

part 2: why didn’t the skeleton just ask someone to go? 

@douglasfur @checkervest great minds think alike

part 2: why didn’t the skeleton just ask someone to go? 

@Thomas @douglasfur @checkervest oh no there's a dad-off in Alex's mentions

part 2: why didn’t the skeleton just ask someone to go? 

@MmeLibertine @Thomas @douglasfur yess you love to see it

why didn’t the skeleton ask anyone 

@Thomas @checkervest he didn't have the guts!

why didn’t the skeleton ask anyone 

@douglasfur @checkervest I just posted this too haha

why didn’t the skeleton go to the dance? 

@Thomas yesss this is perfect and seasonally topical, thank you

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