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Friendly, joking, we-all-know-we’re-kidding style “light” bullying sucks. Sorry. It’s a shitty way to interact with friends. It’s hurting someone in the group more than you or they know.

I got a lot of that from my friends in high school, and I swore up and down I didn’t mind, but it fucked me up. It taught me that to be close to people I had to accept mistreatment and I am only really figuring out just how much that got in my head now that I’m almost 40.

Be nice to each other. Nice is good.

@bulkington I don't know why our generation thought that was a valid way to interact with our friends.

@sabogato I think snarky sitcom and kid show writing have something to do with it. We are socialized by that stuff.

@bulkington @sabogato definitely that - watching that shit now that i'm out of that environment is just fucking horrifying now, like why doesn't the biggest one just eat the others *already*

though it leaves the question of where those horrible shitwriters got their terrible ideas from...

@sabogato @bulkington I don't know what generation you're part of, but my dad who is late boomer, doesn't seem to know how to interact with friends and family any other way.

I don't even know if it can be attributed to a particular generation anymore.

@varve
very true. I had all that in school, 1971..85! And after that in certain groups, where some people had a habit of mocking others. A weird kind of macho hierarchy rituals.

@sabogato @bulkington

@bulkington god I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates this shit. there's enough mockery and shame in the world. why put more of it on the people you say you love.

@bulkington I feel rather fortunate to have realized this behavior is fucked up earlier on, though now that has kinda turned into few friendships since I don’t put up with bullshit.

@bulkington i mean personally, i sometimes like this
But it has to be in specific relationship with a solid foundation
For me its a reminder of that foundation. Because i know that they like me and vice versa. Even with the things they might be joking about.
That joking kinda exchange serves as a reminder that the foundation is strong

But if the foundation starts to crack in any way, its bad and those jokes start to hurt. Because i no longer trust that they aren't being serious

(Idk if were talking about the same dynamic, you might be talking about something different. Also this is very much not universal and is something you have to figure out and navigate in relationships)

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