The King of Summer @Thomas@laserdisc.party

And now, by way of #introduction this is an account about movies, dad stuff, and being from the south.

I'm Thomas From the Internet; you may have heard of me. My reputation is impeccable, my posts exceptional.

If you like sports, I'm also the admin of AllPro.Social, Mastodon's only sports instance. You can follow me there @thomas@allpro.social

“Y’all” is a superior plural pronoun. “Ain’t” is a perfectly good contraction. “Reckon” is a fantastic verb for describing when you are of an opinion. “Yonder” is the only word to describe that way over there.

My greatest weakness is that I absolutely cannot just shut the fuck up.

Put this on my tombstone

Finally saw the chickadee that’s been hollering around the house!

Why does this seem gross to me?

Throwback to my old dog being a creep

Everyone is making me want to watch fuckin #Napoleon dammit

Right there in the bio, folks

Both in response to jokes of course

Some guy I’ve never interacted with replied to my post to point out a spelling error, which was annoying, but then I clicked his profile. It’s all replies and the last one was to Morgan talking about how great Gen X is and how “youngins” are snowflakes lol

Famously, when an exec went to the founder of Costco and said they were losing money on the hotdog combo, the founder said, “if you touch the fucking hotdog I’ll kill you”

https://twitter.com/johnwrichkid/status/1526990827540598784?s=21&t=52DsgDeObC9y2pLmea_6mA

Can’t believe I missed this but a couple days ago a meme account made a post about Costco increasing the price of their food court hot dog because of inflation and it took off like crazy and tanked costcos stock 13% lol

They sent me a free sixer and I nearly died from drinking a cup of coffee and then a Jolt on the way to work

My only brand follow on Twitter is a once defunct soda that came back and then went defunct again

*CRASH*
Kid: “oh no! Ohnohnoohno!”

Me: “OPA!!!!”

Fun little aftermath

At a local Greek festival and just watched a kid drive a cart into the side of a parked ambulance